BANGALORE: In a bizarre twist to the ongoing hostage drama, sandalwood smuggler Veerappan has been abducted by STDTOALMS (Shut The Damn Thing Off And Let Me Sleep), an extremist consumer group fighting for a ban on video-coach buses. When asked whether this new development clears the way for Dr. Raj’s rescue, Karnataka CM cautioned “That sounds like a very risky option, but our think tank will consider it”. A visibly distraught Mr. Krishna added, “Veerappan’s abduction has totally derailed the negotiations. Our first strategy had been working perfectly till the Supreme Court’s stay order forced us to revise our strategy… Then, we painstakingly revised our revised strategy till it started to look like the original strategy… and now this thing happens. Negotiating with Veerappan was so simple. All you had to do was say yes and wait for the next cassette”.

Veerappan’s abduction came to light unexpectedly, when chief negotiator Mr RR Gopal was trying to establish contact with the forest brigand. Mr Gopal said that he had an inkling something was wrong when his bull frog mating call went unanswered after 250 straight attempts.

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