Nobel Gets Obama

11th October 2009

Hope was an audacious woman and Obama knew her since college. He knew her well enough to write a book about her and become President.

Ridicule was Hope’s classmate. Ridicule was insanely jealous of Hope, because Hope, as they say, was a woman of substance. One day the two got into a fight and the matter got serious enough to be taken to court.

Since Obama was a professor of Law, he gladly took up Hope’s case. The case went on for several months and Hope seemed certain to win, until a wily Nordic druid handed Obama the Nobel for Peace.

“Thanks!” Obama said, vanishing into thin air.

Suddenly, Hope no longer had a lawyer and Ridicule’s star was on the ascendant. Almost overnight, Ridicule seemed to acquire curves in all the right places and exude an animal charm that even the Judge could not resist. To make matters worse, Hope began to experience weird hallucinations whenever Ridicule was around:

One day, when the Judge asked Ridicule to sit down, Hope heard Obama cry.

One day, Hope had a vision of Ridicule mooning the developing world and telling it to cut emissions.

One day, Hope saw the Chinese Ambassador spank Ridicule for mentioning the Dalai Lama.

Q: Why did Hope experience these weird hallucinations?

A: Because Obama used to represent Hope until the Nobel made him the butt of Ridicule.

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COLOMBO: Quoting extensively from Emily Dickinson and Deepak Chopra, Sri Lankan President Chandrika Kumaratunga cheered up a rather gloomy gathering of suicide bombers in Colombo. Imploring them to “put down that RDX and smell the flowers,” she added, “but be careful when you put down that RDX!” Later, she urged the bombers not to succumb to peer pressure but to work on self-esteem and childhood issues. The President pointed out that the world is constantly presenting us with reasons to live – from needy relatives to over-stacked refrigerators. The audience was visibly moved and wanted to get closer but the President would hear none of it.

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