Sonia’s accent still weird

6th October 2000


NEW DELHI: Despite frantic attempts to blend in, Congress President Sonia Gandhi’s accent is still weird according to an opinion poll conducted by noiseofindia. K-Kiran, a leading phonetics expert laments: “Her tutors have got it all mixed up. First it was English with an Italian accent, then it was Hindi with an English accent. Now her Italian is beginning to get a Hindi accent. Max Muller Bhavan better get involved when she takes up German next semester.”


Priyanka delivers baby

22nd September 2000


NEW DELHI: “Lets face it, the little Bambino’s a prodigy!” gushed the erstwhile Youth Congress president as he stepped down to make way for a yet unnamed candidate. Defending the party’s controversial choice, he said “Firstly, the kid’s awareness and concern for India’s problems exceeds that of any Congressman I know. Secondly, he is completely untainted by scandal and thirdly, his word-speed is comparable to the Prime Minister Vajpayee’s. Jeez, what more do you people expect from a leader? You guys are the limit!”

Predicting a clean sweep for the Congress-I, he added, “Last time we bored the hell out of the electorate with the same old talk about secularism , stability, blah blah blah. Next time round we will capture the public imagination with Farex, baby oil and pampers.”

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