nano

SINGUR: Senior TATA engineers are examining a daring new proposal that enables the creation of new land practically out of thin air. The proposal exploits a law of trigonometry according to which any length of land can be doubled by simply giving it a 60 degree slope. In other words, a sloped landfill on the undisputed 500 acres will be more than sufficient to house the entire project. Also, given the steep incline, engineers  expect a much quicker rollout of the Nano.

"who's your didi?"

"who's your didi?"

When reached for comment, Mamta Banerjee accused the West Bengal government of dodging the problem by trying to arrive at a solution. “Ratan and Buddhadeb keep talking about a compensation package in exchange for the acquired land. We have no interest whatsoever in any package that endangers the survival of the problem” she said.

"blimey!"

"blimey!"

Ratan Tata lay glumly on the couch, flipping through an old issue of Cosmo. His face seemed to brighten when he got an SMS from Buddhadeb, but the news was bad. Mamta was still rousing the rabble. Ratan sat up and speed-dialled the CM: “But Buddha, you said I could have the land… a promise is a promise.” Buddhadeb appeared to feign a network problem and quickly hung up. Ratan then fixed his eyes dreamily on the horizon and told the gathered pressmen, “I promise to get the hell out of West Bengal… and there will be no turning back… a promise is a promise”. Angels wept.

"We're dealing with Genghis Khan in a cotton sari"

"We're dealing with Genghis Khan in a cotton sari"

Buddhadeb declined to comment, pointing out that regardless of what he said, Mamta would tear him to pieces, Ratan would act all passive-aggressive, and then his own party would make him eat his words. Asked why his government kept making false promises about returning the land, Buddhadeb declared: “that’s because claims can be retracted but tracts cannot be reclaimed.”

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