RANCHI: Accused of illegally amassing assets worth Rs 4000 Crore, former Jharkhand Chief Minister Mr. Madhu Koda was finally booked under the infamous KODA today. Mr. Koda’s arrest had been delayed by a miraculously timed medical emergency that had left him in hospital for a week.

A senior doctor rubbished media speculation that the hospital had been complicit in helping Mr. Koda evade arrest: “Mr. Koda’s life was in the gravest danger. He was brought in with acute abdominal pain, giddiness, and vomiting. As any MBBS will know, these are the classic symptoms of a life-threatening disease known as Dysmenorrhea, or severe menstrual cramps.”

To their credit, investigators acted with a vigor and vitality uncharacteristic of an organization named the ED. Penetrating Mr. Koda’s ring, they made several arrests even as Mr. Koda chummed away in the ICU. But it was only when a union minister’s name fell out of Mr. Koda’s personal diary, that the enormity of the scam hit them. Officials then decided to invoke KODA, a new law designed to ensure acquittal by sounding so draconian it is certain to be repealed.

 
Mr. Koda, for his part, remains defiant: “I single-handedly raised the standard of living of the poorest of the poor. Jharkhand is the only state where even the tribals drink mineral water.”

noiseofindia has learnt that Mr. Koda has millions stashed away in Africa, and is frantically trying to offload his fortune to anyone willing to take it. His trusted attorney, Mr. Zuma Mobutu, has emailed a number of people, hoping that a good Samaritan will come forward and accept this extraordinary windfall.