hear it?

MUMBAI: Unable to pull through a risky surgical procedure, playback singer Himesh Reshammiya’s nose has been rendered voiceless. Eminent plastic-surgeon JJ Tinkerwalla spent the whole night trying to revive the voice, until Himesh uttered the dreaded words: “Doctor, I think I can smell again.”

Tinkerwalla – in whose dexterous hands many a nose has blossomed into stardom – laments the lack of moderation in today’s singers: “The noses of yesteryear had subtlety. Mukesh’s nose, for example, oozed class and dripped melody. Now you have this vulgar race to own the tightest nose. A surgeon can only achieve so much with industrial clamps.”

Himesh’s meteoric rise began after a Bollywood producer discovered the singer’s talent in a mall restroom. Says the producer: “We were seated in adjacent cubicles and I happened to hear this ethereal twang. My bowels emptied in an instant – it was like an enema from heaven! Himesh is what you call a classical bathroom singer – he was allowed to sing only in bathrooms. Then one day, owing to some particularly noxious odours, Himesh had to hold his nose while he sang. The effect was electric. A star was born.”