Naidu's Controversial Bargraph

Naidu's Controversial Bargraph

HYDERABAD: IT savvy Chief Minister Chandrababu Naidu was involved in yet another heated exchange today as he made a slide-show presentation to opposition members who were demanding his resignation. The presentation was in response to the opposition’s criticism that the state was lagging far behind in food grain production. As Mr. Naidu showed the first slide (a bar graph detailing production trends), the opposition benches seemed to explode with rage. Mr. Naidu told newsmen he had no idea what caused them to behave in such a manner.

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Noiseofindia buys key phrase

23rd October 2000
The expression was earlier owned by state-run media

The expression was earlier owned by state-run media

CUDDAPAH: Noiseofindia’s march into the disinformation age got an extra fillip today, after it bought the rights for a key DD expression for an undisclosed amount. This sets to rest speculation that the firm was in the red and in the process of being acquired by a less distinguished competitor. A Noiseofindia spokesperson said that the company’s financials were strong and that the new expression is likely to boost its stock price a further 43 Paisa.

The expression, “Situation is tense, but under control®” was earlier owned by Doordarshan but Mandi House was forced to sell it under pressure from Zee T.V’s “Shri Advaniji ne kaha®” and Star TV’s “43 year old Kishenbhai is a broken man®“. Doordarshan plans to use the proceeds of the sale to buy three well entrenched epithets viz. “noted thespian®“, “eminent jurist®“, and “ailing freedom-fighter ®” and then leverage these in the search engine market. Media analyst S.D.Ahuja says, “It might be a costly gamble for DD, but it is a risk they have to take. They are finally homing in on the 75-90 demographic, which constitutes their core audience.”

khakiNAGPUR: After limited success with the Human Gene-om project, the Sangh Parivar is now all set to enter the OS market. Being strong proponents of the open source movement, they are due to release a Swadeshi flavour of Red Hat, likely to be named Khaki Knicker Linux. The OS will adjust its level of user-friendliness based on the user’s browsing patterns and automatically shut down during Rahu Kaala. Home users can download a preview version of the OS from www.temple.com (website still under construction). A class XII student from Haryana who had nothing to do with the development of the OS says “There’s something weird about its FTP client. It has an amazing interface for exporting files but crashes the moment you try to import anything.”

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COLOMBO: Quoting extensively from Emily Dickinson and Deepak Chopra, Sri Lankan President Chandrika Kumaratunga cheered up a rather gloomy gathering of suicide bombers in Colombo. Imploring them to “put down that RDX and smell the flowers,” she added, “but be careful when you put down that RDX!” Later, she urged the bombers not to succumb to peer pressure but to work on self-esteem and childhood issues. The President pointed out that the world is constantly presenting us with reasons to live – from needy relatives to over-stacked refrigerators. The audience was visibly moved and wanted to get closer but the President would hear none of it.

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